


Ceiling Boobs

by KirbyWrites



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Alcoholic Party, Crack Fic Attempt, F/M, drunk conversation, nothing too bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 14:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21137930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirbyWrites/pseuds/KirbyWrites
Summary: “Rae, look, the ceiling's got boobs!”“Uh, no. That's a light fixture, and you're drunk."





	Ceiling Boobs

It had been a normal party at first. The Titans had invited all of their allies to a party at their tower, and it had gone well enough until now. Speedy had brought out alcohol and now, almost all the honorary Titans were busy drinking and having fun. 

There were flashes of red and yellow, and Raven was sure that it was Kid Flash bringing more wine and beer. Starfire was floating high enough to touch the ceiling of the commons room, and Cyborg and Bee were laughing at some unknown joke. 

The empath frowned from where she stood near the corner and made a mental note to stay well away from the refreshment table; alcohol tended to make her emotions- and thus, her powers- out of control, and she could easily destroy half the tower. Of course, with an interdimensional demon as her father, she could handle a lot if need be, but she didn't want to push the limits. 

Raven sighed, crossing her arms and renewing her mental shield to avoid picking up on everyone's emotions and getting potentially crushed from the weight. Feeling alone and hopelessly isolated, she hoped at least one other person had the common sense to stay sober- preferably Robin. 

Surely he would want to stay unimpaired in case of a crime alert, but as the empath continued watching the crowd, she spotted the Boy Wonder himself, his face flushed and a nearly full glass of champagne in his hand. She immediately facepalmed, her body already experiencing the offhand effects of the leader's extremely drunk state, and pushed away the dizziness. He noticed her eyes on him and, pushing his way past the crowds, he came over, his steps unsteady.

“Rae-Rae, why aren't you enjoying the party..?” Robin asked, a goofy grin on his face.

“Because I, for one, have the sense to stay sober in case something happens,” Raven shot back. “Besides, I don't like being intoxicated.”

“Aw, come on, Rae! Lighten up a lil', would ya? Have some fuuun, you can be snarky again tomorrow.” He giggled, his sense of humor greatly heightened, and then hiccuped.

“That's it. You need to sober up before anything happens. I saw you drink seven glasses of whatever's over there before I lost sight of you, and I don't want to know how many more you've had. Room. Now.”

“But Rae, aren't you even going to try and have fun?” She hissed at him, causing him to shrink in terror, and he latched onto her. Her powers sent his cup into another dimension, and Raven scowled, marching off to Robin's bedroom with said person clinging onto her arm. 

* * *

As the noises of the drunk Titans faded away, the empath sighed, wanting nothing more than to get out of her dark blue silk dress and back in the comfort of her leotard and cloak, but it had to wait until she got Robin back to his room. Speaking of him, he giggled again and poked her shoulder.

“What do you want, Robin?” Raven groaned. 

He pointed to the light fixture above them, covering a smile with his hand. “Rae, look, the ceiling's got boobs!”

“Uh, no. That's a light fixture, and you're drunk. We're getting back to your room-”

“But Rae-Rae, I gotta touch the ceiling boobs…”

“Absolutely not, you pervert. Gods above, if this is how you act while drunk around a light fixture…”

“Please, Rae?” 

“ _ No. _ ” At that moment, Robin stopped walking completely; taken by surprise, Raven almost fell over. He frowned, crossing his arms, and when she glared at him, he only pointed at the light fixture again. The two stared at each other for a few minutes before the empath sighed and allowed dark energy to flow through her hand.

“Azar, have mercy… fine, you can touch it.” Robin chortled as Raven's powers lifted him, and when he touched it, he giggled madly.

“Not really that squishy, but is fiiiiine, I guess…”

“You must be more drunk than I thought. Now that you've done that, there will be no other stops on the Magic Express to your room.” The disk that had lifted Robin earlier grew into a bubble, and he pounded his fists on it in an attempt to escape.

“Come on, Rae! Lemme goooo…” Raven didn't answer, only flicking her fingers to make the black bubble float after her. A few seconds later, Robin slumped against the wall of the bubble, seeming to recognize that it was pointless to keep trying. Instead, he fiddled with the things in his utility belt, hurling birdarangs and ice disks into her magic. As each one imploded, their echoes rang out in her mind and caused her to tense. Unable to keep her focus any longer, Raven let the bubble disappear.

“If you're going to be like that, so be it! Why can't you just see that I'm worried about you?!” She shouted, tears starting to fall. “I just want to help you, damn it!”

“Raven, please don't cry… I'm sorry, I'll stop being so stubborn,” Robin murmured, hugging her tightly. His head started pounding, and he pressed one hand to his forehead. “God, I think I drank too much tonight…”

The empath managed a dry chuckle through her tears. “Yes, you very much did. But honestly, as long as you don't die of alcohol poisoning, I think I'll be fine.”

He released her and placed one hand on her shoulder instead. “Sure, sure. I won't die, it's just one wicked headache.” He paused for a second, his masked eyes squinting. “Wait… Rae, you never told me you had a twin sister! She looks just like you, dress and everything! When'd she get here? Why didn't you tell us?” 

Raven sighed exasperatedly, but she was smiling all the same. “Oh, Robin. Clearly you have a lot of sobering up to do.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really that good with writing crack fics, so please tell me how this was!
> 
> And if you have a oneshot idea, make your way over to my Tumblr at https://kirby-writes.tumblr.com and submit it! As long as it's SFW, I'll write and publish it- both on here and on Tumblr!


End file.
